White Noise
by musicnotes093
Summary: He's the only one who can stop the pain. [Round Three entry for STYCW V at SP.]


**Title:** _"_ _White Noise"_

 **Rating:** T

 **Genre:** drama, romance

 **Character(s):** Amaranth (OC), Leo

 **Pairing(s):** Leo/OC

 **Summary:** He's the only one who can stop the pain. [Round 3 entry for STYCW at SP.]

 **Notes:** Out of the three prompts, the one that spoke to me the loudest was the quote "(S)he's the only one who can stop the pain." This is just a short story, also additionally inspired by Christina Grimmie's song, _With Love._ Please enjoy.

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A sob escaped from her lips. She covered her mouth quickly, her palm coming in contact with her tear-stained cheeks. She wasn't allowed to cry. Superheroes were supposed to be strong. They were supposed to be courageous. As one, she was not allowed to show any weakness. She had to be fearless all the time.

But tonight she found it hard to. She had been finding it difficult to do so for the last few days.

She always saw their faces in her dreams. The people they, _she,_ was supposed to help constantly cried out to her. She would also hear their screams, begging them for help. There were men, women, and children in that building that day. What cut her the deepest were the wails of the little ones.

They weren't supposed to die. They were supposed to grow up and make friends, fall in love and understand what life meant in their old age.

But now they were gone, and she knew she was partly to blame.

Everyone told her that it wasn't her fault, and she knew that. The tragedy was brought about by men who allowed hate to fuel their decisions. _They_ were the ones who should feel guilty, who should feel ashamed. However, she also knew that the blood of those who lost their lives heavily stained her hands, too.

She wasn't fast enough. They had trained for situations like that, but when it happened, what was ideal flew out the window. They came into the building not knowing how many people were trapped. They had no idea where the victims were. There were only yelling, asking for help, coughing. The thickest cloud of smoke that stung their eyes and burned their throats. They had to rely on their instincts.

She should have been quicker. She should have been better prepared. She should have taken larger risks to save those left. Maybe they would still be alive tonight, and she would be relishing in the wonderful feeling of having helped those in need.

More tears fell from her eyes. In the darkness of the training area, she felt so cold.

Light footfalls came closer from behind, but she didn't bother to look. She was too embarrassed to.

He came around to the other side of her then sat down. He gazed at her, but she didn't return it. She only wiped her cheeks with the back of her wrist. Another sob escaped from her, but she didn't mind as much this time. She could be weak around him; he had never judged her for it.

He placed an arm around her shoulders, and she responded by leaning her head towards the crook of his neck. He enveloped her in a warm embrace, offering her solace. At her proximity, she could hear his heartbeat. It was strong, steady, and secure. If she listened closely, she could pick up their air cycling in then out of his lungs.

She deemed herself unworthy of this, of him. She didn't deserve comfort. She had failed. People died.

She deserved to be alone.

Though unaware of her intention to draw away, he leaned his head on hers. He didn't say anything, just stayed like that for her.

That weighed heavily on her heart. She adored his touch very much, and she didn't want to leave it. But the longer she lingered in it, the more she remembered about the families that wouldn't get a chance to embrace their family members anymore.

Her eyes watered. _I'm sorry,_ she told them though she knew they wouldn't hear. _I'm really sorry._

"Do you want to talk?" he asked.

She shook her head. She didn't have the words for the grief and the pain.

He kissed her on the forehead and held her a little bit tighter.

They stayed for a long while like that, and she found that the condemning thoughts had eased. She was slowly drifting towards memories with him, especially the things he told her: that she was brave, that she was confident. That she was a warrior.

 _I love you._ She would never forget the moment when he told her that because she knew how cautious he had been in giving his heart away to someone again.

Her heart shattered at that realization. "I'm broken, Leo," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper. "You deserve better."

"You _are_ my better," he said. "You're the best I never thought I deserve."

Her breath hitched as more tears stung her eyes. "But people died because of me."

"People died because of those sick, sick men. People lived because of you."

Guilt and peace continued to war within her. She didn't want to accept what he said. She was weak, weak, _weak_. She _failed_. But, a part of her knew that what he said was true. She was far from the hero she wanted to be that day, but she did her best. Oh, she desperately did her best. She wanted them all to live.

"I don't think it would ever stop," she said as she thought of the faces and the voices that haunted her dreams.

She didn't need to explain. He wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'll be here with you," he promised.

She hiccupped a sob, one of the few left. She knew it would happen again. Tomorrow, another sleepless night. But right now, she was emboldened to think of happiness, to think of peace, and to think of the good things that still surrounded her.

She closed her eyes and took comfort in the arms that he had always thought weren't enough. She listened to his heart. It was still strong and steady. It was slowly drumming with life despite the darkness that surrounded them.

The hollowness within her began to fill with the same music. It intrigued and allured her. She listened to this for a while until soon, she had become so lost in it that she fell asleep.

This time she dreamed of the families of those that had been lost with smiles on their faces, content now after she had fulfilled her promise of finding those responsible for what happened. What warmed her heart the most was the grasp of his hand, his fingers intertwined with hers as he watched her finally find her closure. This gave her the greatest comfort because this was home to her.

 _He_ was home to her, even if he didn't know it. He had always been.

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 **Kind reviews are always appreciated.**


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